The Coffee Sleeve
by skygirl55
Summary: In a moment of darkness, Richard Castle receives an interesting-and life-changing-message from a fan. Set after an AU ending to 3x24
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This story was inspired by/written for the #SaveCaskett campaign. Mostly, it's a thank you for all who have sent their sleeves to ABC, sent emails/letters, and dedicated their time to this cause._

* * *

Despite it being ten a.m. on a Tuesday, Richard Castle felt wildly unmotivated to get out of bed. He lay on his back, hands tucked behind his head, staring up at the ceiling with nothing in particular on his mind. He should have been up; he should have been writing. He needed to finish Nikki's story; he owed her that much but each time he sat at his computer, the blinking cursor on the screen felt like an anvil slamming into his chest with every blink, its message the same on repeat.

 _Kate's gone. Kate's gone. Kate's gone._

For forty-seven days he'd been going through the motions of life, not really caring out they turned out. He knew his unkempt hair, unshaven beard, and stain-covered clothes were upsetting his mother and daughter, but he couldn't bring himself to worry about those things. The concept of standing in front of the mirror long enough to shave seemed too difficult to complete, so he didn't bother to try. He felt the same about doing laundry, making a meal healthier than potato chips or Pop Tarts or even leaving the loft. He was…stuck.

Forty-eight days earlier Castle's life hadn't been much better, but it had a key element his present life lacked: hope. Yes, he and Kate had a fight over her stubborn need to keep going down a path that would surely end in her demise and she had ended their partnership, but he knew her words to be that of anger in the moment. He had been certain she would come around and apologize for him; they'd been through too much for it to end that way.

He'd spent the night sulking with a tumbler of scotch clutched in his hand. He sat in his office staring at the shelves of the two Nikki Heat novels wondering if he'd made a mistake getting so deeply involved with the lady detective. Deep down, he knew their time together had changed his life and he would never go back and undo it even if given the chance, but when angry and a little drunk, his mind wondered.

He dozed off on the office couch, though he wasn't sure what time, possibly around one or two in the morning, only to be woken at five by the shrill ring of his cell phone. He only answered because he saw Esposito's name on the ID and generally the detective only called him at odd hours if it was something important.

Javier's voice was clipped, to the point. "Something's happened; you should be here. Come as soon as you can."

When the line cut off sharply so did the beating of Castle's heart. _Something's happened._ Kate. In his gut he knew it was Kate. As he rinsed off in the shower and pulled on his jeans and button-down he cursed her for being so foolish; so stubborn. Why hadn't she listened to him? To all of them—the captain, her father, her partners. They begged her to see reason and now she'd gone and gotten herself…injured—or so he thought at the time.

At the Twelfth, a cold sweat formed on Castle's brow the moment he stepped off the elevator. Something was wrong—very wrong. The expressions on the faces of those usually greeting him cheerfully were anything but. The entire room had a tension about it—an unexplained silence. Neither Ryan nor Esposito would look him in the eye, but instead directed him to the captain's office where Montgomery said the sentence that would change the course of his life from that point forward.

"Last night Kate Beckett was killed in the line of duty."

Castle cried out and fell to his knees, begging for it not to be true. He barely heard the stoic man say that they had been ambushed by a group of mercenaries. It had all happened so quickly, there was nothing he could do. When Montgomery walked closer to express his condolences, Castle took vague notice of a cane; evidently the captain had taken a bullet to the leg during the scuffle.

While the captain made an official announcement to their team, Castle sat dutifully in his seat beside the now-vacant desk. Tracks of tears marked his cheeks and he didn't care who saw. They were the visual representation of his now shattered heart.

He asked to see her—to look at her face one last time—but Montgomery refused. The bullet she had taken had been to the head and he did not want Castle to see her that way. Castle argued, insisting that he see her anyway, but Montgomery simply wouldn't allow it. Her body was being held in a secure area at the morgue and he was not to seek her out. As was his nature, he continued to protest until Ryan stepped in and said in a raspy voice, "Really, man, you don't want to see her like that." Though it pained him, he knew Ryan was right.

Her funeral, for which he was a pallbearer, was by far the hardest. By that point, he was numb, so the heartfelt speeches from her captain and colleagues did not affect him as much as it did his mother and daughter. No, for him, the moment of breaking was coming face to face with Kate's father. The man he had met but five days earlier when he showed up at Castle's apartment pleading with him to save his daughter's life. At that task, Castle had failed.

When speaking to the man who had lost the two women he'd loved most in the world, Castle broke down into tears, apologizing for failing at his task, saying he would do anything to change what had happened. Jim placed a heavy hand on Castle's shoulder and squeezed it gently, saying, "This isn't your fault, son; it was her choice."

Castle nodded, though he knew he'd carry that burden for the remainder of his days. Brushing some tears from the tip of his nose he said, "I-I loved her."

Jim nodded solemnly. "I know you did."

From that moment forward his daze had been a haze of sleeping at random hours, eating a little, drinking more. Sitting at his computer wondering how the hell he could finish Nikki Heat's story in a way that would satisfy him and do justice to her, the woman who inspired so much in him. Every time he started to type, the ache in his gut became too much to take, so he'd retreat to his bed and the pattern would begin again.

Castle would lay awake wondering what would be best. Should he kill Nikki? Have her die a hero in the line of duty, just like her inspiration. Or, should he have her live on, continue to seek the justice that Kate never could. Should Nikki marry Rook and have the family he never would? He wanted that for Nikki, but wasn't sure he had the heart to write it.

Castle wasn't sure he had the heart to write anything at all; not anymore.

* * *

"Dad?" Alexis's voice was followed by a gentle tapping against the bedroom door. "Dad are you awake? Can I come in?"

"Ye-yeah Alexis, c'mon in." He grunted. Pushing himself upright in bed he blinked over at the clock. 12:05. Wait, what day was it again?

"Dad…have you been here all morning?" Alexis asked when she walked into the room, large box braced against her hip with her left arm looped over the top.

"Uh….yes. Wha-what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?"

The red-head dropped the box at the foot of the bed and gazed down at him. "Today was a half day—teacher in-service meetings this afternoon."

"Ah."

"I stopped at the post office on the way home and got you your fan mail. Why don't you look at some of it? That usually makes you feel better."

Castle looked over at his daughter, her smile hopeful and encouraging, though her bright blue eyes were clouded over with no small amount of concern. He forced a small smile. "Maybe later, sweetheart, but thanks for getting that stuff for me."

Alexis huffed and took a step closer to the bed. "Are you wearing pants?"

"Boxers…"

"Then you're getting up." With that, she flipped back the sheets and blankets and pulled them all the way off the bed, letting them pile onto the floor.

"Alexis." He grumbled.

"No, Dad, I'm sick of this. You can't just spend your life in your bed or on the couch. I get it—you miss Beckett and I'm so sorry about what happened to her. We all are. But would she want you to waste your life like this?"

Castle looked away from his daughter as they both knew the answer to be a definitive, "No."

"Dad, please." She reached out and placed her hand against his shoulder. "Just start with some baby steps, okay? Get up, take a shower, put on clean clothes and I'll make you lunch. Then, we'll read some of your fan letters together, okay?"

He eyed her skeptically. "Don't you have homework?"

She smiled. "It can wait a few hours."

Castle observed his daughter with a full heart. God, he loved her. She was undoubtedly the best thing he'd ever done in his life and she was one hundred percent correct about everything she'd said—which, given her nature to be smarter than him at almost everything, wasn't surprising. "You really don't need to make me lunch."

Alexis shrugged. "I'm making some for myself anyway. Thanks Dad." With that, she kissed his temple and left the room so he could get ready.

* * *

"Dad, look at this one—it came with a drawing."

Castle looked up from the letter he held and saw his daughter displayed a sheet of paper with a face drawn in what appeared to be crayon. Despite it looking more like a Picasso-inspired face than a real one, the blue eyes and brown hair led him to deduce it was meant to be a picture of himself. In the bottom left corner the drawing was signed by Joe, age seven.

"Here's a question." Castle began. "Is that seven year old reading my books?"

"I kind of hope not," Alexis said, examining the picture once more. "The letter it came with was clearly written by an adult, so hopefully the parent asked him to draw it?"

"Hopefully." Castle echoed. Though he hesitated to turn away any reader, seven seemed too young to be exposed to such gruesome topics. Then again, his own child had been around that age when she began reading his works. He hadn't _encouraged_ it, of course, but it had been difficult to stop Alexis from wanting to read what Daddy wrote. At least they'd talked about it a lot while she read.

With a sigh, Castle reached into the box for another envelope. The two of them had been sitting on the rug in his office for almost an hour swapping letters. Though he initially resisted as the idea of reading accolades seemed unappealing, Castle was glad Alexis had made him do it. His sadness seemed to lessen with each letter. One note from an eighty year old woman had even made him smile a little bit.

Feeling around in the box, Castle's hand came in contact with an envelope that seemed oddly firm to have a letter inside. Grasping it, he picked it up with the seal side facing him and saw it was an ordinary white envelope with something hard and rectangular inside. Curious, he slid his finger beneath the seal and ripped it open to find not a letter but a piece of brown cardboard. That was…odd.

Pulling out the object he found it was no ordinary piece of cardboard but instead one in a slightly arched rectangular shape. Someone had evidently written their note to him on a coffee sleeve. That was…unexpected, but certainly unique and a way to draw in his attention.

Castle flipped the sleeve over in his hand to view the message and immediately felt his breath sucked from his chest. The writing; oh god, the writing.

As any good man would of his muse, Castle had memorized every detail of Kate's handwriting from the loops on the bottom of her y's to the way the dots of her eyes looked more like tiny check marks, especially if she was in a hurry. He knew the way she held her pen and skimmed ink across her arrest reports better than anything else in the world, but he hadn't seen her penmanship for forty-seven days—not since the last time he stood from his chair at the Twelfth, took one last look down at her desk and knew he'd never return.

His fingertips trembling as he held the object, he sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm himself enough to process the words before him.

 _Dear Mr. Castle: I am writing to you to say thank you for all the books you have written. For some of us, the words you've crafted are far more than just entertainment; they have become a lifeline, an escape from the day. They give hope and reason to an otherwise chaotic world._

 _I remember the first book of yours I read. I was going through a tough time and looking for a book to read while on the train to visit my father. After ninety minutes I was angry when the train stopped, because I didn't want to stop reading. When I got back home, I bought all your books and have read each new one you've written since. I just wanted you to know how grateful I am for everything you've done. Always._

"Dad? Dad are you okay?"

Castle looked up to Alexis, knowing he was barely breathing, not knowing how long he'd been frozen in position amazed that he held in his hand the most important fan letter he had ever and would ever receive.

"Dad! Say something—please?"

"She's alive." He whispered out.

Alexis's brow furrowed. "Who's alive?"

"Kate; Kate's alive."

He didn't know how and, hell, if it was true he didn't give a damn about the "how" but somehow he just knew. The letter was from Kate; it had to be from Kate.

For forty-seven days he'd gone to bed thinking about her smile, her laugh, his heart breaking all over again because he knew he'd never seen her face or her hear voice again. He would have given anything—all his money and fame—for just one more minute with her. To hold her close and tell her how much he loved her. For forty-seven days he had no hope because he knew that could never be, but now, with one coffee sleeve, hope had been returned to him.

"Dad, what are you talking about?"

Though it pained him to let go of it, he thrust the precious object in her direction. "It's Beckett's writing; I'm sure of it. And the message…it sounds like her."

With a wrinkled brow, Alexis took the sleeve and read over the note. Cautiously, she looked back at her father. "This could have been written by anyone."

"But it's written on a _coffee sleeve_ ," he insisted. Coffee was his way of telling Kate he loved her every morning; the way she smiled at him when she took the cup was unquestionably the best part of his day.

"Dad…Beckett's dead. Captain Montgomery saw-"

"Yes, yes he saw." Castle pushed himself up and began to pace the office, the depths of his mind whirring to life for the first time in nearly two months. "But no one else did. No one else saw that body—no one I asked in the ME office; I checked. What if-" Shit! It was so obvious! Why hadn't he seen it before!

Castle dropped back to the ground and fumbled for the envelope that housed the coffee sleeve. Flipping it over, he saw no return address, but the postmark was stamped Denver, Colorado.

"Dad?"

Castle looked up at his daughter, his mind clear for the first time in almost seven weeks. "Witness protection; she's in witness protection."


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you so much for all your kind comments & reviews_

* * *

The following morning Richard Castle walked in to the Twelfth Precinct for the first time since the alleged death of his partner, determined as he'd ever been. Though he had barely slept the prior evening as he googled and researched everything he could about Denver, Colorado and its surrounding areas, his eyes and mind were clear; his goal was singular. That morning he'd showered, shaved, and even stopped for a haircut. He was unquestionably ready for whatever was about to transpire.

Despite coming across more than a few surprised greetings, Castle walked steadily through the bullpen, purposely ignoring the man now seated in his partner's former space. Ryan and Esposito looked up when he passed, but Castle only nodded to them curtly before standing in the doorway of the captain's office and knocking against the frame.

The elder man looked up and his brow rose. "Castle…it's been a while since we've seen you around these parts."

Too determined to waste time with pleasantries, Castle stepped in the man's office, shut the door behind him, and approached the desk steadily. "She's in witness protection."

Montgomery blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Beckett." He clarified. "She's in witness protection."

The elder man skimmed his index finger and thumb across his mustache before pushing himself up from his desk and walking around the other side. Castle took note that he did so with a slight hitch in the leg that had been injured forty-nine days earlier. Standing just a foot from the writer, the captain spoke cautiously. "Mr. Castle I understand that as her partner you took this hardest of all of us. Believe me, I do. I wish I could give her back to you, but Kate Beckett is dead."

Castle's faith was unwavering. Never once since the cardboard coffee sleeve fell into his hand did he stop believing that she was alive—out there, somewhere. "She's not."

"And what makes you so sure of that?"

From the pocket of his coat Castle pulled the white envelope. While the sleeve itself remained tucked safely in his desk drawer, too precious to venture out into the dangerous world, the envelope and its clearly marked _Richard Castle Fan Mail_ address would suffice to make his point. Holding the envelope up so the address displayed towards the captain, Castle said, "I received this in the mail yesterday postmarked a week ago in Denver, Colorado. It's her handwriting. She's alive and I'm pretty sure that means she's in witness protection."

Montgomery's expression remained stoic as he shook his head and walked back around to the other side of his desk. "She's gone, Castle. You need to leave this alone."

Castle huffed out a breath. He couldn't say he was shocked at the captain's response. Truthfully, he would have been surprised if Montgomery willingly parted with the information. Fortunately, in this particular instance, Castle felt even more persistent than usual—which was saying something. "With respect: I can't do that sir. There's things…there are things that need said between us. I won't lose my chance again." To hold her, to see her face, to spend just one minute memorizing the flecks of green in her eyes—he'd be dammed if he'd give that up, especially given the heartache he experienced over the prior six weeks.

"Listen, Castle, I honestly don't know what you think you're doing here. If I knew about someone in witness protection I couldn't tell you anything about them."

Castle's heart lifted, knowing that if Montgomery had truly witnessed Beckett's demise he would not have entertained his witness protection theories at all. "I understand that."

"And even if I could tell you exactly where someone in witness protection was—which I couldn't, because I would never even know—but if I could tell you, you still could not go and see them. Anyone in witness protection is there because they are in mortal danger."

"I understand that, too. And believe me, the last thing I would ever want to do would be to put Bec—a person," he corrected, keeping his conversation on theme with Montgomery's statements, "in danger, but I need to do something. At least let me help with the investigation. If we can solve-"

"Enough Castle." Montgomery's tone was sharp as he ended their discussion of hypotheticals. "This case is too dangerous for anyone, particularly a civilian. I am very sorry about this—truly. No one had to question how much you cared for her Castle, but Beckett is not coming back and you'll just need to accept that."

* * *

Accept that—right. Castle would accept that Beckett was gone forever—on a cold day in hell. No, his conversation with Montgomery had only fanned the flames of his determination; it was time for Phase 2.

Exiting the captain's office, Castle walked right past Ryan and Esposito while subtly waiving for them to follow him. Once the trio was secluded in the break room, Castle began speaking to them in hushed tones. "I need your help with something—something that's probably ridiculously, crazy dangerous."

"It's about Beckett's case, isn't it?" Ryan asked.

"She was our partner. You know we'll do whatever it takes to find the sons of bitches that did this to her." Esposito added.

Castle shook his head. "That's just the thing—she's alive; she's in WITSEC."

The two detectives exchanged looks and then looked back at the writer. "What do you mean 'she's in WITSEC'?" Ryan asked. "How could you possibly know that?"

Once again, Castle pulled out the envelope and explained its origins. Both detectives examined it closely until it was Esposito who clicked his tongue with annoyance. "Man I thought Beckett was smarter than that. Writing a letter from WITSEC? Is she suicidal?"

Castle shook his head. "The letter was anonymous; meant to look like another fan letter. It's the handwriting that tipped me off. It's from her; I'm sure of it and when I confronted Montgomery he didn't deny it—we just talked about all these hypotheticals regarding WITSEC."

"Such as?"

"That even if he knew where she was, which he doesn't, I couldn't contact her without putting her life in danger."

"He's right about that," Ryan said.

Castle nodded. "I know which is why we need to use this as motivation to figure out who the hell is after her. If we stop them, she can come home….right?"

Esposito nodded in agreement. "But where the hell do we start?"

* * *

Richard Castle stepped off Mainstreet (not Main Street—Mainstreet) and into the Parker Mainstreet Center while puling the sunglasses off his face. Yep, he definitely was not in New York anymore. Parker, Colorado was about as one-horse as a town could get, or so the Manhattanite thought. He skimmed the directory board just inside the door and found the law offices of Hill Associates were located on the second floor. Perfect.

Stupid. Foolish. Idiotic. Moronic. Dangerous. Detrimental.

The insults poured through his mind as he stepped on the elevator just as they had when he'd jumped into the cab back in Manhattan and stepped on the plane in Newark and into his rental car in New Mexico. In a life full of questionable decisions this was undoubtedly his worst—and best. Funny how those two things so often coincided.

He was taking every precaution—he knew that. Fake ID to rent the car, paying cash everywhere not part of his "cover story," a very expensive private investigator assuring him his phone, bank accounts and apartment were not being watched by anyone. Still, the hairs at the back of Castle's neck prickled when he stepped into the second floor atrium. If he'd miscalculated, if one mistake was made he'd be signing both their death warrants.

He didn't want to put her in danger—he'd sooner hurt himself than her—but this trip was no longer a factor of desire but necessity. Well, okay, maybe a little bit of desire. A lot of desire. One hundred and forty-five days of it, to be exact.

One hundred and forty-five days had passed since Castle stood in Beckett's apartment and exchanged words of anger and frustration. One hundred and forty-five days passed since he saw her smile. For one hundred and forty-five days he'd been without his best friend.

Ever since discovering his partner was most likely in witness protection, Castle along with Ryan and Esposito had worked tirelessly to find the identity of the parties threatening Beckett's life. They traced every conceivable lead, every previously thought dead end until finally—finally!—ten days earlier they'd cracked the case wide open thanks to one of Castle's high priced forensic accountants.

Senator William Bracken had bankrolled Beckett's near extinction. They didn't know why or have any (legal) means of proving it, but he was their man. It had been Esposito who had given Castle the idea by saying, "Man if only we could ask Beckett some questions right now."

Castle had, of course, known Beckett's exact location for months. It had only taken his—again, very expensive—private detective twenty-five days to scour the greater Denver area to produce surveillance shots of a shockingly blonde former detective. Ever since he'd had the man check in on her every few weeks to make sure she was still doing all right.

He planned on staying away—truly, he did—but the faster they could take down Bracken, the faster she could come home, and if she could help them in any way… The risk, he decided, was worth it.

Stepping into the law offices, Castle plastered a smile on his face. If the petite auburn-haired woman at the front desk was a fan of the mystery genre, he was screwed. Other than growing a bit of stubble, he had not disguised his appearance in any way since at least for the first leg of his journey he traveled as himself. His temporary identity—Allen Alexander—was all but a carbon copy of himself—except for the wealth, disappointingly.

"May I help you sir?" the woman greeted him brightly.

Leaning his forearm against the countertop she sat behind, he turned on the charm. "Yes, um, I'm here to see Rebecca Perkins." The name was so strange on his lips, for she would never be anything other than Beckett. During his flight he wondered if she was able to choose the name or if it had been given to her; if there was time, he'd have to ask.

The young woman glanced down at her computer screen and then back up to the man. "Is she expecting you?"

"No, no—I'm an old friend. Just stopping by to say hello, maybe see if she wants to go to lunch."

The woman nodded and stood. "Okay, I'll check to see if she's available. What's your name, sir?"

"Alexander; she'll know who I am." Actually, he was pretty sure she wouldn't. He was pretty sure he would confuse and subsequently scare the hell out of her. And possibly make her angry—very, very angry. Considering how long it had been, though, he would gladly have spent an hour in her presence even if she screamed at him the whole time.

The woman returned not a minute later. "I'm sorry, sir, but she's on the phone. Do you have a business card or something I can give her?"

Sensing the WITSEC woman might be a bit hesitant when it came to strangers, Castle had come prepared. "Yes, actually. Would you mind giving this to her? I'll wait."

The receptionist gazed at the plain cardboard coffee sleeve with notable confusion but took it anyway and disappeared behind the wall leading to the rest of the office. Again, she was gone but a minute. When she returned, the stunned face of Kate Beckett appeared behind her and all the breath left Castle's chest.

 _Kate_.

There she was—alive and breathing. Admittedly, the blonde hair was weird. Really weird, actually. Weirder than whatever maroon thing she had going on when the first met, but her eyes, her nose, her lips—they were all the same. God, she was beautiful.

For the better part of thirty seconds they stared at each other before the receptionist broke the silence with, "Are you okay, Rebecca?"

"Wha—I—yes." Kate responded quickly before forcing out a smile. "I'm fine, Roxie just…surprised. I haven't seen A-Alexander in quite some time."

"Yeah," he said, his voice a bit rough, "it feels like forever."

Too entranced with each other, neither noticed Roxie eyeing them suspiciously before rolling her eyes and returning to her desk. In doing so, she knocked over her coffee mug, which landed against the desk surface with a clang loud enough to jolt the former detective back into reality. Her brow narrowing, she reached out and grabbed the writer's arm, using it to drag him along with her back through the maze of desks into what turned out to be a small conference room positively stuffed with a table and six chairs. Once the door was closed she whipped around and hissed, "What in the hell are you doing here?"

A dopey grin crossed Castle's face. God, he'd missed this. He took a brief moment to skim his eyes over her body before returning them to her scowled face. Her blouse and pants didn't make her seem any different than she had at the Twelfth—how he remembered her in his mind's eye. But the hair…yeah, that would take a while to get over. "Don't I even get a hello?"

She crossed her arms tightly in front of her body. "No, you don't. Are you insane?"

"Yeah but you knew that already."

Kate's nostrils flared. "You cannot be here."

"And yet…" He sighed and took a step towards her, opening his arms, palms up. "Here I am."

She grunted and took a step away from him, pacing the tiny area between the table and the wall. "Castle this isn't funny. It's dangerous."

God she was adorable when she was angry at him—how had he forgotten that? "Then…why'd you write me the letter?"

She stopped pacing and blinked at him. "What?"

"You started this by writing me a letter." As her cheeks turned pinker, he approached steadily. "Technically a note because I don't think it was long enough to be called a letter."

"I…"

He continued walking until she was backed up against the table and he stood barely six inches from her. "Why'd you write the note, Kate?"

"It's Rebecca," she corrected with a growl.

He shook his head. "I'm not calling you that. Why'd you write it?"

As he leaned closer, she leaned away, her back arching over one of the conference chairs. "What are you doing?"

The answer to that was simple: pushing her buttons like he'd wanted to for months. Nudging her towards the edge—the breaking point—knowing that would be the only way to get an honest response from her. "You wanted me to find you."

Her nostrils flared again. "Of course not."

"You didn't want me to think you were dead." It was the only conclusion he could draw. Kate Beckett was one of the smartest, most savvy people he'd ever met. She had to have known how risky it was to contact him in any way—even as anonymous as her communication appeared on the surface—yet she had done it by way of a touching thank you letter. She had to have known he'd figure it out. After all, they had been partners for nearly three years.

Her gaze dipped towards the center of his chest and then back up towards his face. "Well no but-"

"You didn't want to end our partnership."

"I-"

Castle couldn't wait another second. He skimmed his hands beneath her jaw and pulled her mouth against his. For half a second she remained frozen, but then her hands skimmed down his arms and she drew him in. Castle was immediately filled with the delicious, soul-warming memories of their very first kiss, but unlike that one this was not a ruse nor were they trying to rescue their colleagues; they could take their time.

When their lips separated for a brief moment, Kate's nose brushed against his and Castle felt his breath catch in his mid-chest. He couldn't imagine anything more perfect. Slipping his arms around her shoulders, he pulled Kate's body against him. When their lips met, her arms locked around his back and they kissed like he'd dreamed they would; like he feared they never could.

A minute later, breathless, Castle released Kate from his arms and took half a step back from her. She looked stunned, her lips plump and slightly parted; it made him smile. "I'm staying at the Super 8 under the name Alexander. All cash, fake ID—don't worry. Room 210. I'll be there all night, if you can make it. If not, know that the guys and I are doing everything we can to bring down Bracken and bring you home." He smiled, turned, paused, and turned back before adding, "Oh, and I love you."

With that, he walked out of the conference room, through the lobby, and back out on to Mainstreet. He wasn't positive she'd risk a second meeting, but if not he would be okay with that; the trip had already been better than he imagined it could be.


	3. Chapter 3

Shortly after eight p.m. just as he was lazily flipping through the television channels wondering what he could watch to occupy his time, Castle heard a knock at his hotel room door. Fighting to urge to punch the air and chant "Yes!" he hopped off the bed, turned off the TV, and approached the door's peep hole. His blonde-haired guest was right on time as far as he was concerned.

He opened the door, silly greeting poised on his lips, but she pushed in past him, shrugging off her black blazer to reveal the same outfit she'd been wearing earlier: an emerald blouse and black tailored pants with institutional black pumps. Surely not the most alluring, but Kate Beckett could make a paper bag look sexy, especially when she looked at him with her fire-filled eyes and said, "Senator William Bracken," the words somewhere between a statement and question.

Castle bobbed his head. "So Montgomery didn't tell you."

She shook her head and flopped down on the end of the king-sized bed. "He refused, saying it would get me killed. He barely even said anything to me, just passed me over to the feds…Why would he tell you and not me?"

At her wounded tone, Castle walked over and sat beside her. "He didn't. We had to do a lot of digging to find that. Montgomery's official line is that you died in that airplane hangar."

"Espo and Ryan are helping?" she asked.

He confirmed with a nod. "All off the books. Got a few PI's of my own, too. That's how I found you."

Sher stood and raked her hands through her hair before facing him, her bottom lip dragging through her teeth. "It's not that I'm not happy to see you, Castle, but if you can find me this easily…"

He almost laughed. "Easy" was certainly not the way he would describe finding her. In fact, it was anything but and had he not paid some of the country's best private investigators exorbitant amounts of money he probably wouldn't have found her. At the very least it would have taken much longer. "I only found you because you gave me a clue and trust me: it wasn't easy. If you don't believe me, I'll show you all the billable hours from that PI. They think you're dead, Kate."

Her eyes dropped to the floor as she posed the next question. "And what about you? Are you…safe?"

Her voice, laced with concern, touched him, but the sentiments were unnecessary. Standing up so he faced her, Castle said, "They're not watching me; I made sure of it. Even still, I flew in to Albuquerque and drove here. Richard Castle and his cell phone are in a spa resort in New Mexico."

She couldn't help but let out a breathy chuckle, reaching forward to skim her fingers over the collar of his shirt. Glancing up at him, her expression showing amusement and a small amount of disbelief, she said, "You did all that just to see me."

"Yeah and I would have done more, too." He confessed. Travel to the ends of the earth, spend tens of thousands of dollars—he would have done it all ten times over just to have that moment with her.

With an easy smile, she placed her palms flat against his shoulders and gave him a gentle shove towards the bed. "Then," she said, nudging him again until the backs of his knees caught the top edge of the mattress and he was forced to sit. She climbed into his lap before bringing her lips just a millimeter above his and breathing, "I think we've done enough talking for now."

As Kate Beckett's body crushed against his, Richard Castle was certain of one thing: if gun-wielding mad-men rushed into the room at that moment, he would die the happiest man on earth. The emotions swirling inside of him were almost too much to take. He loved her, god did he love her, and he wanted to—shit, he could barely process anything with her hips grinding against him like that, but even that was amazing. Incredible. She was everything.

"I thought you were dead." He breathed out when her lips moved to his jaw.

Her nose brushed against his and her hands slid from behind his neck to work the buttons on his shirt. "I know."

"I didn't think we'd ever get the chance…"

She shook her head and breathed, "Me neither," before nipping at his throat just beneath his jaw.

Castle's hands at her hips squeezed even tighter in response; he groaned. "Shit—oh god, you're incredible. Beautiful. Amazing…"

She momentarily removed her lips from his skin to look down at him and say, "I thought I told you to stop talking?"

He grinned up at her. "Since when do I ever listen?"

She laughed and finished unbuttoning his shirt, skimming her hands up his bare chest until her fingertips danced at the back of his neck once more. She leaned her head down and rested her forehead against his before saying, "Thanks for finding me."

He rolled back against the mattress, taking her along with him, and said, "Always."

* * *

Richard Castle was in heaven.

True, it was odd that heaven happened to be an eighty-nine-dollar-per-night hotel in the suburbs of Denver, Colorado, but to be quite honest he was too happy to care. Curled in his arms was the woman he loved. Better still, she was naked—and so was he.

They'd spent the prior hour undressing, caressing, kissing and making love. It wasn't at all what he expected it to be; it was a hundred times better. Given their time apart he half expected their coupling to be frantic and rushed, but it was clear from the start she wanted to take things slow and he was glad; she was well worth the wait.

Stroking his fingertips across her hair, pulling it back from her face she smiled a lazy, sated smile at him. He hummed and continued to stroke her temple with the pad of his thumb. "Why'd you write the note?" he asked gently.

"Why'd you come and find me?"

"I asked you first. Tell me what happened. Please."

She sighed and rolled onto her back, taking his hand from her head and placing it across the center of her chest, his fingertips splayed over her collarbone. She traced lazy patterns against the back of his hand, her gaze fixated on the ceiling. "I…everything happened so quickly. The moment I stepped into that hangar it was chaos and I had no idea…" She let the words hang in the air for a moment before turning her head so she could look him in the eye; she was almost as grave as he'd ever seen her. "Montgomery's involved in this somehow, Rick; I'm sure of it.

The hairs at the base of Castle's neck prickled. "Involved?"

She nodded. "The way he was talking…he knew the person behind all this—I'm pretty sure. He was saying all these things that didn't make sense at the time…the feds were trying to gather me up, I was fighting them and Montgomery was saying all these things about my mother—that he couldn't save her, but he could save me."

Castle's brow knit together as he considered her words and reflected against the investigation he, Ryan and Esposito had been doing. Ever since the beginning there had been plot holes—things that simply did not make sense. They knew they were missing information, but upon uncovering Bracken's name they thought they'd found the key that would unlock all the doors they had yet to look behind. Their discovery was too new for him to confirm or deny that but if Montgomery was involved-

"Castle?"

Kate's tone of concern pulled him from his thoughts. "It's just…what if that's it? What if the missing piece is Montgomery? It would explain why those arrest reports and documents look like they've been altered. The inside man we could never find… Not to mention that it would explain his insistence that Ryan, Espo and I stay far away from this case. Originally I thought it was because he thought if we figured out you were alive we'd come after you—or, rather, I'd come after you—but it could also be so we didn't figure out his involvement in the case."

She gave a half smile. "Plus you did come after me."

"Because you wrote the note," he said, bringing their conversation more or less full circle.

She nodded. "I wanted to say goodbye, but the feds said I couldn't. Everything ended right then. Kate Beckett had to die in that moment. I pleaded with them that even if they told no one else, they had to tell my father. I was so worried that he…he'd…" Her voice cut off and she shook her head, turning away from him.

Castle lifted his fingertips to her chin so he could guide her face back to his. "He's doing okay, you know? All things considered. We've had lunch twice." Both events were surprisingly not awkward, though he feared they would be given that he never had a chance to properly get to know the man while his daughter was alive.

She looked at him, beseeching. "I begged Montgomery to tell him…"

Castle shook his head gently. "If he knows, he doesn't let on at all." Not telling Jim Beckett about his daughter's status had been one of the hardest things Castle had ever done. As the father of a daughter he could not imagine the older man's pain, especially given his wife's tragic demise. Being in possession of the knowledge that could end that pain—or, at least reduce it—was a terrible fate for Castle, but he knew he needed to stay silent. Just because he wasn't being watched did not mean Jim wasn't being watched. The more people that knew the truth, the more danger Kate was in and keeping Kate safe was paramount. He knew on that front Jim would agree with him wholeheartedly.

Kate rolled onto her side so she could more easily face the writer. "And then there was you. How could I leave you thinking that I wanted our partnership to be over…that I was angry with you when it turned out that you were completely right?"

"I'm actually right a lot." He pointed out. A grin broke out onto Kate's face and he fell in love with her all over again. He brought up a hand to rest gently on her cheek just as she did the same, stroking her thumb across his cheekbone.

"After everything we'd been through…We didn't talk, we never talked, but I just couldn't let it end that way. Though as much as I didn't want you to think I was dead, I was afraid you'd come after me if you knew and that would put you in danger. If they were watching you then…I tried to keep the message as generic as possible, but you still knew."

She sounded amazed, but Castle didn't think she should have been. After all, his discovery had been quite easy. "I know your handwriting."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course you do."

"Don't you know mine?"

"Yes, but I'm a detective."

"And you're my muse."

Her eyes flared wide and she dropped her hand from his cheek to smack his shoulder. "Don't call me a muse, Castle."

Despite her annoyance, the writer smiled. He slid closer to her and pressed a kiss against her cheek, against her jaw, along her throat, at her collarbone, and continued his way southward as he said, "But you are my beautiful, sexy, incredible inspiration…" Lifting his head he waggled his eyebrows at her. "Even more so now that I've seen you naked."

Despite the fact that he was lavishing her belly with kisses, Kate asked him very seriously, "Are you avoiding my question?"

"What question?"

She combed her fingers through his hair before dragging her index finger down the outside edge of his ear and over across his jaw. "Why are you here?"

Using his hands against the bed on either side of her, Castle pushed himself up so that their heads were even and his body hovered above hers. "Because I had to see you with my own eyes to be certain you were alive. Because I needed you to be alive, Kate; more than anything. I have never in my life wanted anything more than that."

Kate lifted both hands up to cup his cheeks and gaze at him curiously. When he didn't continue on his own after thirty seconds, she said his first name gently. He gazed down at her, his eyes sad as he reflected on how heavy his heart had been in the weeks following her "death." "When Montgomery told me you died it was like my whole world stopped. I'd never felt anything like that before—that level of devastating loss. I didn't get out of bed for weeks. Mother and Alexis didn't know what to do with me. I didn't know what to do with myself," he added with a mirthless laugh. "I think—no, I knew. I knew before but losing you that way made me certain—I'm in love with you."

Castle watched Kate's face as he said the words. She didn't look scared or strangled, suffocated like he feared she would. Instead, her thumbs continued to graze across his cheek and she smiled gently at him. God, did he love her, adore her. He wanted her to reciprocate those feelings so badly, but he knew her situation was different than his. "I know you were with Josh so I-"

"No." She cut him off. "That doesn't matter now. You were right about everything you said—I was scared. I still am but I can't lose any more opportunities. They could come for me at any time and I…I love you, too. I have for a while, actually."

At her secretive smile, Castle's brow rose. He definitely couldn't let that tidbit of information slide by. "A while? When is a while?"

She shrugged and shook her head. "Just a while, Castle; you don't need to know when."

He let out an indignant noise. "How long have you known me? Of course I need to know when!"

"No," she corrected, "you want to know when—there's a difference."

"I _found_ you when the federal government thought they'd hidden you so far away no one could—doesn't that mean I get to know?"

"Not tonight. Tonight, all that means is you get more of this." With that, she locked his arms around his chest and pulled his body down against hers once more.

* * *

Castle growled when the woman in his arms slid towards the edge of the bed. "I don't want you to leave."

"I don't want to leave, either, but it's four a.m."

After round two when they began to doze she told him she could only stay a few more hours since she needed to be home by dawn. They'd argued back and forth on the exact time as neither had a cell phone on which too look up the exact sunrise time in Colorado but ultimately agreed on four a.m. As she put her bra back on, Castle reached out a long arm to trace a finger on her spine. "I don't know when I'll see you again."

Glancing over her shoulder she said, "You might never."

Castle felt his stomach roll over in his gut at her words; they were his worst nightmare. One night with her? One night!? That was completely unacceptable in his mind. True it was an incredible night—the best of his life, even—but one night was not enough; a lifetime wouldn't be. "Don't talk like that." He scolded her as she stood off the bed and continue to redress.

"I'm being realistic, Castle."

The wheels of thought wired to life in Castle's brain. Okay, what if they never had sufficient evidence to convict Bracken? What if they never found the smoking gun? Kate could never leave the WITSEC program and sooner or later Richard Castle's multiple trips to the New Mexico desert would tip someone off. Maybe they did need a better plan. He scooted to the edge of the bed and sat facing her. "Then let me talk to Montgomery; if I go into WITSEC too we can be put somewhere together."

Her head whipped in his direction. "No—I won't let you throw away your life for-"

"What?" He cut her off. "The person I love most? It's not a sacrifice."

She shook her head, her face stoic. "You have a child."

"She's seventeen."

"No, Castle. You have to go back to New York. You…" She came and sat beside him on the bed, picking up his hand and resting it against her leg. "I need you to be my partner. I need you to figure this out—I need you to nail Bracken's ass to the wall."

Castle pressed his lips together and thought for a moment. "We could put something into place—a way for us to communicate secretly."

"Not worth the risk."

"It would be for me."

She gave him an expression that broke his heart. "Not for me; I can't bring you down with me."

"Not if-"

Kate cut him off with a kiss. "Please. Go back. End this like I know you can."

He huffed out a breath. "I don't like this."

She laughed. "Welcome to the club."

She moved to stand, but he grabbed her thigh, holding her in place. "Promise me you're okay out here?"

Kate nodded. "I'm okay. My life isn't glamorous and this is a far cry from New York, but I'm okay. And tonight—the past few hours were incredible. Now I know what what's waiting for me back home."

Castle squeezed her leg in reassurance. "For as long as it takes, Kate—I'm yours. I have been for a while."

With that, they kissed once more and she hurried out into the night. From the window of the hotel room, Castle watched her go, silently promising to work tirelessly—day and night—until they could bring Bracken down; until she could come home.

* * *

 _That could be the end...but there is actually one more part to be posted later this week._

 _Thank you SO MUCH for all your incredible reviews. Truly; i am blown away by the response to this story!_


	4. Chapter 4

"Okay, okay, I'm here. What is it—you can tell me. I swear I can take it. Maybe. Is she hurt? Did they find her? They got her didn't they—oh god. Don't tell me—wait no tell me just make it quick."

Richard Caste ended his breathless speech with a grimace, as though he was waiting for either Detective Ryan or Esposito to actually strike him in the face. Instead, the two men merely gazed at him with a mixture of amusement and irritation.

"Are you done? Can we talk now?" Esposito asked.

"Yes. Sorry—please tell me." Castle sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. His heart rate had been erratic ever since receiving Kevin's text message forty minutes earlier. Mid-town traffic had never been more frustrating, but he'd made it and was prepared to accept whatever news was coming with a reasonable amount of dignity.

The detectives exchanged looks before smiling at him. "Senator William Bracken was arrested yesterday evening."

Castle nearly burst into tears. Oh god, oh god—six months. Six long months of research, dead ends, sleepless nights and one shouting match with Montgomery had all been worth it for that moment. William Bracken, the man who had become the bane of all of their existences, was finally behind bars, which meant Kate Beckett was finally out of danger. She could finally come home—or, rather, be resurrected. Still, after trudging through a tunnel that seemed to be endless, it was hard to believe the resolution came so quickly, so easily.

Gasping for breath he said, "You got him? You really got him?"

Ryan bobbed his head "We did, but before you get too excited there's a catch."

Castle's heart seized in his chest. "Beckett-"

"No, no. We told the feds and they're processing her WITSEC exit papers as we speak." Esposito informed him and Castle relaxed for half a second. "The catch is actually with-"

"Castle!"

The writer turned towards the sharp-tongue of Captain Montgomery approaching from the hall with a stern expression. Of course in his glee Castle failed to take note of that. Instead, he took two steps forward and gushed. "Oh sir! I'm so glad to hear about-"

"I thought I made it _very_ clear to you that tracking down Beckett would put her life in danger."

Castle took half a step back, shocked by the elder man's implied accusation. "Of course sir and I would never put Beckett's life in danger."

Montgomery folded his arms over his chest. "Then how come you didn't listen?"

"I did listen." Well, no he didn't, but no one knew that—officially. When he'd presented Ryan and Esposito with his newly acquired intel upon returning from his New Mexican vacation, the boys had dubbed his "mysterious source" as bullshit from the get-go. His arguments eventually faded and Castle admitted to finding a way to contact Kate secretly, but had never revealed to anyone that he'd seen her in person so she would remain safe.

Montgomery's eyebrow arched. "Oh really?"

At that precise moment, a woman's throat clearing could be heard followed by a chorus of, "Oh shit," from the two male detectives. Castle turned to his left and his jaw dropped, but not because the blonde woman had returned to her former place of employment after nearly a year, but because beneath her long-sleeved shirt a very rounded, swollen belly could be seen. She smiled at him and Castle let out a croaking noise.

They stared at each other for the better part of thirty seconds before Kate asked, amused, "Castle? Are you breathing?"

"NO!" He responded, rushing forward and pulling her into his rms. "Oh my god, oh my god." He couldn't even hug her as tightly as he wanted to because of her belly—her belly! That meant she was—oh god.

"I'm sorry there was no way I could tell you." She whispered into his ear.

Castle pulled out of their embrace, gasping and half choking on his emotions. Tears welling in his eyes he gazed down at her bump and then back to her face then back down at her bump and back at her face twice more. "Oh my god you're pregnant. Pregnant? I mean are you—are you pregnant? What oh my god—oh my god!"

Kate laughed. "Calm down, Castle; you've had a baby before."

"But not with you!" He responded quickly. Then, pulled her into his arms once more. "I love you; I love you so much."

"I love you, too." After letting Castle hug her until she could tolerate his crushing embrace no longer, Kate stepped away to greet the two detectives as they shared laughs and congratulations on her upcoming bundle of joy.

"I, ah, really don't need to dampen this mood but there's something you guys should know," Ryan said once all their hugging was through.

"Perhaps we should all step into my office." Montgomery suggested.

The four of them followed the captain and Castle shut the door behind them before standing beside Kate and placing his hand against the small of her back. She nudged her shoulder against him and his heart swelled once more. She was having his baby—his baby! Castle's glee was unfortunately short lived, because his heart dropped towards his feet when he saw the grave expression on the captain's face.

"First, I need to apologize to all of you, but especially to you, Beckett. I've been foolish and selfish by withholding information I knew could end all of this. I was afraid for my family, but mostly for myself. Bracken is a powerful man and I knew my limited information wasn't enough to bring down him and his army, and that's why I stayed silent.

"I realize now that had I shared what I knew, maybe things wouldn't have happened the way they did. Beckett might not have needed witness protection. Certain events may have been avoided…" The elder man dropped his chin and shook his head. His action indicated disapproval, but his words proved it was only for himself.

"Sir," Kate began tentatively, "what are you trying to tell us?"

Montgomery looked at her directly. "That ten days ago Castle and I had quite an argument—I'm sure he'll fill you in on it later—and I realized that with my information and what he and Detectives Ryan and Esposito had uncovered we could nail Bracken for good. I took a few days, got my affairs in order, made sure my family would be safe, and then I called the DA. I'll be making an announcement later, but you all deserve to be the first to know that my resignation will be effective as of the end of the day."

"Sir!"

"Captain-"

"Please can't-"

The elder man held up his hand to silence all rebottles. "This is the way it's gotta be, folks. I've made some mistakes, and now I have to answer for them." Turning to woman in the room he said, "Kate I am so sorry. I don't think there's anything I could have done to save your mother and I know this might not mean much now, after everything you've been through, but I am truly sorry; I never wanted anyone to get hurt, not like this."

Kate bobbed her head and a tear rolled down her cheek. "I understand, sir, and I forgive you."

Castle squeezed her hand as Montgomery said, "I'm not sure that I deserve that, but thank you."

* * *

"So…I feel like we have a lot to talk about." Castle stated wisely as they entered the loft later that afternoon. They'd hung around the precinct for over an hour as Kate made the rounds, answering questions about her resurrection, hair color, and belly—generally in that order. After Montgomery's announcement, Kate had asked her partner if they could go, for watching her mentor pack his office would be too difficult, particularly in her heightened emotional state.

"Uh, yeah." She laughed and ran her fingers down her belly. "A few things."

His gazed dipped towards her stomach and the grin on his face expanded. And he thought the blonde hair had been a lot to process! "So I was trying to figure this out on the way here and I'm guessing you're due in eight weeks?"

She bobbed her head. "The last week of June, yeah."

"And it's…" He led, rising up on his toes in anticipation of her answer.

"A baby." His entire body deflated and she laughed. "Oh, was that you asking for the gender? What if I don't know?"

He arched one eyebrow at her. "Do you know?"

Casually, she walked towards the couch and sat down. "What if I want to torture you with it a little longer?"

The writer wined. "C'mon Beckett…I've been waiting three hours—isn't that long enough?"

She laughed before her mouth formed an O-shape and her hands moved to her belly. "Ah! C'mere quick!" She pulled up her shirt and pushed down the elastic waistband of her maternity jeans to reveal a ripple going across her belly. Castle placed his hand upon it as though he'd found a sacred idol in a hidden temple. His child! He could feel his child!

"Does he-she do this a lot?"

She shrugged and nodded. "Enough. Typically when I'm trying to fall asleep. I don't mind, though. As freaked out as I was at the beginning it's been nice having a piece of you with me all this time."

He leaned in and kissed her. She covered his hand with his and they felt their child's movements together. When the bumps against her belly finally ceased she leaned over and told him quietly, "It's a boy."

A son. He was going to have a son. He was going to have a son with Kate.

That moment was Castle's emotional breaking point. Everything that happened that day—Montgomery's announcement, Kate's return, and the end of the most stressful period of his life—hit him all at once and he could not have stopped the tears from falling if he wanted to. He managed to choke out, "I'm really, really happy Beckett; I swear," before she pulled him close, hushing him and shedding a few tears herself.

After a few minutes, her comforting touches on his neck and face turned to kisses which led to them comfort each other beneath the sheets of Castle's bed. With his hand splayed over her belly, Castle spooned his body against hers and asked, "So you want to get married? After you're legally alive again, I mean."

She arched a skeptical eyebrow at him. "When? Before the baby comes?"

He shrugged. "Sure. Now, later—doesn't matter to me. I'd marry you any day, anytime, anywhere, Katherine Beckett."

She shook her head and looked over at him wearing a smile. "We're doing this all wrong, you know? You're supposed to date, get married, and then have a baby."

"Says who?" he responded. "Besides, you've always been a bit of a rule-breaker. Isn't that right, Rebel-Bex?"

She laughed, but said nothing, so he countered with, "You're at least going to move in here, right? I mean it only makes sense with the baby and all."

She hummed, her voice sounding sleepy. "We can talk about it tomorrow—after we've talked at my dad and your mom and Alexis, after my hair is no longer blonde, after I reacclimatize myself to east coast time…"

"Fair enough." He dropped a kiss onto her shoulder before snuggling back up to her once more. "I'm just glad you're back."

"I'm glad I'm back, too…glad you didn't have to miss any more of my pregnancy—especially now that I've reached the stage of swollen ankles and frequent grumpiness."

Castle laughed, so deliriously happy to have her back in his life, in his arms, at the brink of starting a family together even that sounded perfect. "I'll be here every day for every moment, Kate."

She opened her eyes and smiled at him. "Partners, right?"

He responded the only way he could. "Always."

* * *

 _A/N: Thank you all so much for reading/reviewing. I was totally blown away by the positive response to this story - it was always meant to be something short/quick/fun but you guys made it great!_


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